The Friday before our flight we found out that C’s father was going on hospice care. C’s father had been suffering from dementia and a progressive decline in health for the past several years, however over the past few months and during his last weeks, the deterioration had increased exponentially. He passed several days after going on hospice.
We were heartbroken, are heartbroken, for all of the reasons that you can imagine. However, despite everything, we knew that the one thing C’s Dad would want is for us to travel. So with heavy hearts we decided to leave for Cabo as planned and fly out a few days later.
The whole experience was emotional and surreal and also extremely grounding. Death has a way of putting things in perspective and revealing what is truly important in life. It makes you think about things like, how you want to leave the world, how do you want others to remember you, and what, if anything, do you want to be remembered by? I never used to think about life like that.
Despite a somewhat rocky start to 30, I’m still optimistic and excited about what this year will bring. You know that feeling when you have no idea what’s going to happen, but you’re just excited to see what pops up? That’s how I feel right now! That alone is rather monumental for me because I didn’t used to be like that. When I was younger I had this idea of what my life would look like and what I needed to do to get there. When I got there and realized it wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be, I let that it go. That’s when I realized that this world has so much to offer.
We’re born with these crazy imaginations as kids that somehow dissipate as we mature. When we grown up, we’re so quick to establish boundaries and limiting beliefs about what we can and can’t, should and shouldn’t, or will and won’t do, but what’s the point? Doesn’t that make life a little limiting? To me it does. It’s like deciding what’s going to happen before you even get there. I’ve learned that if you’re connected with your sense of self and self worth, clear with your intention and willing to listen and tune into what “hell yes” and “no, absolutely not” feels like in your body, you can do anything.
This feeling of optimism coupled with all of the emotions and thoughts that I was experiencing after losing my soon to be father-in-law inspired me to jot down some advice for my 30 year old self that I thought I would share with you.
- Don’t waste time being negative and doing things that don’t serve nourish you. Connect with your purpose, what is meaningful to you and what brings you joy.
- Be compassionate. Show up for the people that you care about and make time for quality connection.
- Be kind and don’t judge others, you never know what someone else is going through.
- Have big belly laughs often.
- Explore different cultures and have new experiences—share them with others.
- Embrace times of uncertainty
Life really is too short to waste your time being unhappy. Create the life that you want to live.